Three Mistakes Death Did Not Mention
by whenthestarsfall
Summary: Some critical events that happened in bombings of Heaven 1943 that Death did not write about.


There was a part of the Himmel 1943 bombings I purposely left out. There was a couple of reasons for this, but one of them was the fact that this is not my story. This was the story of a book thief, and the book thief had nothing to do with this.  
You see, I try to separate myself from human lives. Liesel was special, I found myself engrossed in the pain of her living. That was a mistake on my behalf, I was bored and curious and I should have stayed away.  
I am burdened by the amount of stories waiting to told. Stories that will never be told. Stories that can't be told. Which is why I make a great deal of effort to try and keep clear from the lives of humans. I get too distracted. If I'm not careful, I could get buried underneath human disaster and catastrophe. Now, don't get me wrong. There are stories of love and happiness and growth. And life.  
But I always seem to be drawn by mishap and pain. Perhaps it was because in 1943, happiness was at a shortage. And at 1943, I was everywhere.

I am starting to get off point, and I want to keep this short.  
Liesel was an exception to my rules, and I have made a deal with myself to never become this close to a human life again. It is dangerous. Especially for me. When I take souls, I must be fast. I try to be soft and gentle, and especially considerate but I must also be quick. Time exists for Death as well, and I couldn't afford to be slow. There are lives waiting for me. Waiting to be collected. I owe it to humans to be brief. Swift. It would be unfair to take my time when I had already taken something so precious.

**~*~A CONFESSION I DON'T WANT TO ADMIT~*~  
I NEVER STOPPED THINKING ABOUT RUDY STEINER**

The last reason I left this out is because of a lemon haired young boy, who had too much to live for and too much taken from him. He lived with the name of Rudy Steiner, a talented athlete, Liesel's best friend and accomplice, and also, a hopeless romantic.  
But most importantly, dead. Rudy Steiner was dead. Writing about this hurt me, it pained me. It reminded me why humans treat me with such fear and horror.  
Rudy Steiner, the boy who had gone days without food to feed his siblings, Rudy Steiner who jumped in the Amper river in mid December for the girl he loved, and whose kiss he craved even in his sleep. Rudy Steiner, at the age of 11 - dead without ever knowing what it was like to have lips press softly onto his.

To be honest, I hesitated in front of Rudy Steiner's soul. That was my first mistake. He ached my heart, he made it harder for me to reach into his lifeless chest. I paused and for a second, I hoped. But there was no mistaking his death. There were no more signs of life, no movement.  
Oh Rudy Steiner, his soul was a waste. He should have been given more time.  
But I could do nothing about this, it was not my place. He was just another boy. He was just another soul.

Except he wasn't. Rudy Steiner's soul struggled. He fought.  
Many souls fight; there are countless reasons for this. There is still stuff they plan to do. Plan to say. They could be afraid. They could be angry. But Rudy Steiner was different, he was pleading. Like a child who begged for his parents to stay just for a little longer. Rudy resisted, and I have a weak spot for that boy. I wanted to hear what he had to say, this was my second mistake. I should've grabbed him tight but my curiosity got the best of me and I let him be.  
When my eyes met his, I was surprised. I did not expect this from him, but I guess humans have always been unexpected from the start.

There was no force with his grip, there was no running away. They always seem to want to run away.  
There was no shouting, no resentment, no tears. Just stillness and silence. Rudy, in front of Death itself. Appeared nervous and timid. He spoke quietly and low, similar that of a whisper. "Bitte." Please.  
"This one time," he stood stable, his voice clear. "Just give me one more chance."  
This is not the first time someone has tried to asked for mercy. But this is the first time I have ever given it a thought. That was my third mistake. In front of Rudy Steiner, I was reluctant. Not for long. But I was.

When I looked into his blue eyes, I felt his determination and desire to keep living. When I looked at him, although he appeared to be afraid, he did not waver. He did not change his gaze, but instead, begged. Not desperately. But a beg full of regrets, a beg full of missed opportunities and lost chances. A beg that was too heavy with sorrows and pain. It is a shame, the way humans live as if days are infinite. It is a shame that humans will only start to act when things are too late.  
Rudy was a good boy with a heart that was too big for him to carry, too big for me to take. But I could do nothing. I only take what is mine, I cannot control the circumstances surrounding it.  
But whenever I looked into Rudy Steiner's eyes, there was such an unbreakable will - he was not ready, he told me. "_Noch nicht." _Not yet.  
In truth, I understood. I could sense the fire running through him and the flames he lit. He had many things to say, but chose not to say anything.  
_It isn't fair_. He wanted to say.  
_This wasn't how I wanted to leave._  
I know Rudy, I know.  
"Es tut mir Leid." I am sorry. But it is time for you to go, I must take you. I cannot change what has happened.  
In an instant the fire I saw died down, like a candle blown out before it was time to sleep. His soul was too warm and delicate for my cold fingers.

As I left the Steiner's house, I felt a sudden, unbearable weight dragging me down, like an anchor in sea. There was no mistake; Rudy's load was too much. It wasn't intentional. It happens sometimes, when you've lost everything - there is little you have control over. When you are no longer connecting with your physical body, it is much easier to be consumed by one emotion. For Rudy it was simple - anger.

I knew it would happen eventually, but never would I have known his rage had amounted to this much. It shook and rattled with such temper.  
I was finding it hard to continue with such weight. With places to be and souls to collect, it didn't seem like Rudy's soul would die down any sooner. I admit it, I was tired. But I also felt sorry.  
I knew it wasn't my fault, someone had to collect the leftovers and it just so happened that someone was me.

Yet, deep in the centre of my heart, there was a pang of guilt.  
Like I did something terribly wrong, terribly unforgivable.

That boy, I shouldn't have given him the chance to speak.

It was when Liesel noticed the familiar lemon-yellowed hair being carried away was when it quietened down.  
_Liesel was holding Rudy Steiner's shirt by the front. "Rudy, please." The tears grappled with her face. "Rudy, please, wake up, Goddamn it, wake up, I love you. Come on Rudy, come on, Jesse Owens, don't you know I love you, wake up, wake up, wake up..."_  
His soul stopped moving, I thought he found a way to escape me. It was foolish because that is impossible, but you never know what that boy would do.  
I felt him stir only once, when Liesel kissed him hard for the last time. His soul was radiating joy, but sadness danced through shortly after. I could almost hear him say,  
"That damn Saumensch, why did you wait all this time?"  
I can't help but agree. Liesel, why did you wait all this time?  
Humans will always surprise me. How they realise the loose nails just as it is about to fall down.

"Bitte." He whispers. He repeats this over and over again.  
_Please please please please._ Like a broken record that echoed through the halls of an empty, abandoned hotel.  
You see why I refused to write about this the first time? It is too heartbreaking. Rudy is too heartbreaking for me to retell.

Remember when I told you I made three mistakes? That was true. I do not lie. I should have not wavered in front of Rudy Steiner. I will admit my faults.

When I looked at Liesel, in the middle of the aftermath. In the middle of the place she called home, flattened into pieces. Himmel was not the only thing unrecognisable. The young girl was starting to turn into a stranger and it was too sad to watch. Like a bird whose wings were too thin to fly across the ocean.  
Liesel was fading away. Another thing stolen from her, ripped from underneath her in the dead of the night. It eroded her from the inside. It left her defeated, she breathed out bruises and pain pumped throughout her body. It was exhausting. To keep living.

**~*~A QUICK QUESTION~*~**  
**Who hurts more, the one left behind or the one who left?**

I still do not know.

While I was about to leave, a tiny voice spoke, almost like a child. I could have ignored it if I didn't pay much attention. I could've just treated it like background noise.  
I could've done a lot of things. But I didn't.  
If Rudy Steiner is one thing, he is persistent.

And what I did next, well it is up to you if you think it was the right choice. But I do believe it had to be done. Rudy was starting to add extra weight I could not handle, and he was slowing me down.  
I presented him a deal. A simple chance. I do not have the power to turn back time nor change what has happened. That would be too unbalanced.  
But when I saw Liesel. I saw someone so alone and so afraid. Her heart was full of so many people that it was almost hard to find her own. Liesel Meminger was disappearing.

There was only one I could do, and that was to allow him to appear in her dreams. It might be little, but it was enough.  
The reason, I realised, that Rudy was able to demand such a request was because Liesel had stolen a bit of his soul. This was much expected from a thief. It was her turn to steal back.

This happens sometimes, when two people love each other so incredibly hard. It can sometimes come between even me; though it is nothing I can't overcome, of course. Just an inconvenience.  
I noticed that the piece of Rudy's soul, mind you, was the most important part. It made my job especially harder, so I did what I could to make it easier for me.  
She clenched onto it so tightly that claw marks began to appear from her efforts to keep him just that bit closer to her.

Maybe if she held tighter. Maybe if she tried harder.

**~*~LIESEL'S TREASURE~*~**  
**Rudy Steiner's heart.**

Death has a heart you know. I only seem cruel because I deliver the bitter truth. I cannot help it. I am nothing if not honest.

It took a long time for Liesel to fall asleep. She kept waking up. Kept crying. Kept remembering another dead body. We waited a long time. But Rudy was patient.

**~*~AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS~*~**  
**Rudy Steiner did not stay for long.**

I am not sure why, but he lasted in her dreams for only 10 minutes.

At first, Liesel saw white. She thought nothing of it, because it was better than the nightmares. Nothing is better than everything all at once.

Rudy appeared ever so softly and slowly.  
They stared at each other in a beautiful silence. Performing a melody with their breathing.

"Hi, Rudy." Liesel spoke weakly. She smiled sincerely, but her eyes mirrored heartache.  
In comparison, Rudy looked just like he did without all the dust and the dirt and the blood. His blue eyes were light in her dreams, and full of life. A comforting lie. But it hurt her all the same.  
"Saumensch! You look terrible." I'm sure Rudy was trying to release tension, but Liesel could not take the false sense of normality any longer.  
"Better than you did, though."  
"You're right."

Liesel held her breath then, and crashed into his arms. She fell apart under the safety of his embrace. It was like watching the base of a building collapse and finally give way. Burying her head deep into his chest, she sobbed and threw light punches repeatedly. "Warum hast du gehen?" She would ask. Over and over.  
He held her close, wrapping his arms around her. Entwining their bodies together. Forcing her pieces to glue back.  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

The both of them stayed in each other's embrace for a while, hoping to imprint their touch on each other's body.  
It was Rudy who broke away first.  
"I love you, Liesel."  
But she didn't want to hear it. I love you is what people say when they are about to leave.  
Liesel wanted to grab his I love you and shove it in to the ground. It hurt her; to see him as if he were alive all along.  
I love you is what you say just before you say goodbye.  
When she looked up into his blue eyes, he began to slowly resemble his body when she found him.  
Black and ruined. Clothes ripped to shreds. Limbs that could not move. Crushed lungs. Stopped heart.  
"Aren't you going to say it back?" He held her chin up and swallowed down his tears.  
It seemed to me he had so much to say  
_I've loved you since the start._  
_Please don't forget me._  
_I'm okay._  
_You can stop hurting now._  
But when his eyes met the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, he forgot everything. There was not enough words. But maybe words were not enough.  
"I love you, Saukerl." She muttered. Her vision becoming blurry, her voice starting to crack.  
When she rubbed her eyes to see clearly, Rudy had already left.  
I'm not sure if that's the ending you wanted, but it's the ending that happened.  
And I'm not sure why.  
I never asked, and I don't think he would've told me. After all those years, I couldn't help but wonder why he didn't ask for a kiss or why he left so early.  
I can only make assumptions. But I think he was afraid.  
Even at his grave.  
Even with nothing at stake.  
Rudy Steiner was still afraid of The Book Thief's kiss.

**A/N: I have been absent from some time, and I have thought about this. And I think it is better if I leave my stories up; even as embarrassing as they are. Even if the stories seemed to go nowhere. Even if the writing was awkward. With no fluidity and no style.**

**I admit, my writing is not perfect; or anything near it. In fact it's still a bit choppy, so I apologise. I'm young and still learning. But after reading The Book Thief, I finally got out of my rut. Even after 1-2 years without writing. Rudy is one of my favorite characters and has inspired me to keep writing. **

**Reviews are appreciating and would really help out. Criticism is welcomed with open arms.**

**Till next time.**


End file.
